“Technically it’s malware. But there’s no patch yet, and pretty much everyone’s got it. Homes up and down the block are lit up, even at this early hour. Thankfully this one is fairly benign. It sets off the alarm with [dubstep] music I blacklisted decades ago on Pandora. It takes a picture of me as I get out of the shower every morning and uploads it to Facebook. No big deal.
When I moved into my house in the 20s, I went with an Android-compatible system because there were more accessories and they were better designed. But then I changed jobs and now my home doesn’t work with my company-issued phone. Which is a bummer because I have to keep this giant 7-inch tablet around to control everything and Google doesn’t support the hardware anymore so I can’t update it and now the door just randomly unlocks. Ugh, I’m going to have to start using keys again.”—The Nightmare on Connected Home Street | Gadget Lab | WIRED (via kenyatta)
“Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal. Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep travelling honestly along life’s path.”—Street Smarts: A Learning Process: 11 Things to Know at 25(ish)
“I remember getting in the elevator for my audition and there was a guy next to me who had a backpack full of props and wigs and things, and I went, ‘Oh my god, that guy is so prepared, I have nothing, I have no props.’ And that was Andy Samberg. And Andy Samberg said he was looking at me going, ‘Oh, that guy has no props. He doesn’t need props.’ And that was the first time we met, was in that elevator.”—
- Bill Hader
I love everything about this story but my favorite part is always that they both got hired by being themselves. Nice reminder. Love.
Please crash this pity party. I turn 25 in 3 months. Freaking out. Nowhere near where I want to be in life and don't even wanna celebrate cause I feel ashamed to to draw attention to my age when it also flags how little I've accomplished.
You’re not freaking out, you’re being a coward.
You’re not where you want to be in life? Then do something about it. Celebrate the fact that you have a chance to, that you have passions and dreams, and that you have an Internet connection and education.
You know who else isn’t where they want to be in life? Everyone.
I have days I am grateful. Days when my bike and my cat and my friends and my family and my man and my apartment are all I could ever need. But I have days when sunshine feels like an interrogation lamp and the pressure to be something better feels like it’s melting your skin off. The higher you climb, the smaller a foot feels. So you pick up the pace, you find new mountains, you find new challenges.
But your birthday isn’t a challenge. Turning 25 isn’t a challenge. Turning 25 is a gift and you’re looking it in the mouth. You know what accomplishments take? Time, effort, ambition, and ugly, sloppy failures. They’re not built on pity and what-could-have-been’s, they are built on the sheer will to become the person you want to be, they are built on overcoming adversity and setbacks. They are built on rejected submissions and failed concepts, on rough drafts and countless revisions, they are built on early mornings and late nights. They are not built on arbitrary birthdays.
Maybe I’m being mean. Maybe it’s because I wish someone had been meaner to me. Maybe it’s because a hug and a pat on the head won’t get you anywhere. Maybe because telling you to relax is just telling you to give up. Maybe because the only one who can get you somewhere is you. Maybe because the audacious idea that you should be somewhere by 25 speaks more to your ego than your abilities, and that if you’re going to make such claims, you need to go out and prove you were right to make them in the first place.
Maybe it’s because I’m not where I want to be either, and on a Friday when the skies are ripping apart, when you can smell spring on the horizon, when life looks like it might start over, we all need someone to tell us to get out of bed and do something with our lives.
Go ahead and write the invitation to your birthday party:
Thus far I have accomplished none of the things I have wanted in life. Please, come celebrate as we put to bed my shame and self-disappointment and instead, begin to hold me accountable, for in this great 25th year, I am going to ambitiously pursue the following:
And then list everything you ever expected of yourself. Because the first thing you need to learn on the road to accomplishing your dreams is that you can’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself in the process.
“Pursuing God is about realizing more and more that He has been pursuing you all along, and slowly waking to this reality. It’s knowing that every ounce of effort you’ve made towards Him has been His wooing grace, beckoning you ever closer.”—J.S. (via jspark3000)
because we were never broken in his sight. The covenant we had with Him was broken. If i break a glass, it may cut me or even consequently kill me, but it can’t break my soul, my humanity, or my existence.
I used to believe I was broken. I greatly comforted knowing that God would fix me up patch me back together. And I believed then that I would never be the whole that I originally was. I believed that there was a defect there to begin with that eventually led to my brokenness. You bet I was comforted. “Then” is such a relative term; My “way back then” was probably 4.273 hours ago.
But in God’s sight, am I really broken? Am I really evil? Am I really good? Or am I just his child? A child that has UNCONDITIONAL EVERLASTING LOVE (unconditional: without limits or boundaries. everlasting: eternal. love: AGAPE). I will never comprehend that with my earthly human minds. My longing to understand it feel it beyond a doubt draws me to the foot of the cross.
“The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.”—
“You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart.”—
Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things
Lately, when I’m on the subway or in a cab or in Starbucks and I start to feel overwhelmed, I open up this book on my iPad and just breathe in a reminder that everything turns out exactly the way it is supposed to, and that sometimes what we think are our weakest moments end up being our strongest.
“When the army doesn’t come for you, when no one chooses to fight for you, when no one dives in after you with fairy tales and promises, you write a different story. You write a tale of adventure and chaos, of survival and fortitude, and instead of wishing to be saved, you save yourself.”—Kelton Wright (via itsnevertoolatefornow)
“You will learn that sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, HURT. That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness. That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack.”—David Foster Wallace,Infinite Jest (via avvfvl)
Have you ever been a shy person? In many situations I am so shy that I start to hate myself for it and I think that it's holding me back in so many areas (work, friendships, love). I just don't know what to do and you often provide the most lovely advice.
I am staying with a friend right now who is one of the most incredibly inspiring and achieved people I know. She is also beautiful and generous. She has legs and energy for days, a dream job, a separate business she started from scratch where all proceeds go to charity, and she has traveled all over the world. But, I found myself laying in bed next to her last night saying, “You know you’re not broken, right? I hear you saying things about yourself like you’re broken.” Everyone, even the people who seem the most something (outgoing, energetic, driven, even-keeled, etc. etc.), has their own struggles and feelings of not enough or too much. I hear you talking like you’re broken here, too.
Shy is not something I have ever really been, no. I have anxiety from time-to-time that can transfer over to social situations and I imagine shyness falls somewhere on that same spectrum.
Whenever I don’t like a part of myself, I try to find something good in it. I know that I sometimes interrupt people. I can’t stand that I do it. But, I also know that it comes from wanting to make the other person feel accepted and understood. Hating yourself is only going to make it worse. Are there some good aspects to your shyness? You’re a great observer? You remember little details of people or places that others do not? You never interrupt anyone?
Any personality “flaw” can swallow you whole if you let it. Can make you feel like bits of your are rattling around broken. Try accepting that this is one part of you and then giving yourself a challenge each day if it is something you want to change. Smiling at someone in a coffee shop or talking to a friend about feeling shy or putting yourself out there in some way that is a little bit scary. Our minds are incredible things and, I believe, can be trained to think differently if we slowly work at it while treating ourselves with kindness and patience.
If none of that helps, please know there are people in the world, myself included, who do not see shyness as coldness or indifference or weird, but as people who will open up beautifully if you take the time to get to know them.